Barriers break down when we build new bonds
Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Awareness Week
7th - 13th November 2021
Dear New Parent,
How are you? Really?
It’s totally ok to say you are not ok. You are in your own uncharted territory.
The way you are feeling right now does not begin and end with you.
There are other Mum’s and Dad’s that have felt the way you do right now.
Parenting is challenging.
Challenging is just the beginning.
There are many new Mum’s and Dad’s that are going through the same changes, the same difficulties, at the same time as you.
This, right now, is hardest job any of you will ever do.
There is great support out there and making connections can help you find it.
If you need someone or something, please say so.
Don’t let what you think you should be right now get in the way of you getting the help you need to build your own resilience and at the same time nurture the village we all need to raise our kids.
With love,
Other Parents all around the world
Every November each year Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Awareness Week sees stories, research and inspiration shared around the community. The years just gone by have been powerful, the ripples can be felt tremendously in the willingness and the ways we talk to each other about how we really are. The barriers are down, the new ways we connect are up, and there is an honesty that is healthy. It’s time to roll with it.
Over this time there has been a significantly increased volume of people accessing mental health services and vital Australian organizations for parents, like PANDA, have seen this huge increase in demand as positive progress. Mental health service providers feel that more honest conversations lead to greater understanding about these challenges and more parents seeking support and useful strategies to get through the early years.
If you’re reading this and you’re out and about, maybe shopping, quickly scan the aisles. One in every five Mum’s you see, and one in every ten Dad’s that you pass by right now in the shop, have or are experiencing their own challenges with anxiety and/or depression during pregnancy or in the year following the birth of their child. Look around, you’ll soon realise you are not alone.
But how do we connect with these others and start the conversations that lead to the help we need for our Families to thrive?
We might start by making a plan and then doing the things that we can one day at a time.
To make the first part a little easier, here’s a 5 step Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Plan.
5 step Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Plan:
Check in
Reach out
Look local and global
Try out some tips
See a Health Professional
1. CHECK IN
Checking in with yourself should be the most accessible and portable part of your plan because you’re right there with yourself always, but really tuning in is not always that easy.
You could treat this first step as an insightful inner YOU scan.
Find a few moments. Tune in and ask yourself:
How am I really feeling?
What is going well?
What am I struggling with?
What would I find helpful for me right now?
It is ok to feel overwhelmed, confused, stressed, worried, tired, and emotional. The first step to improving how you are feeling is being able to give your feelings a name and rate how much you are feeling this way. Beyond Blue, Lifeline, Black Dog Institute and PANDA have resources available to teach you get really good at making your ‘self-check’ a helpful habit.
2. REACH OUT
You will know the right person or people for you. They might be:
Family - your Mum, Dad, a Grandparent, a Sibling, Aunt, Uncle or a Cousin
A dear friend
Another parent you relate to really well, or whose parenting style you particularly like
Your neighbour or a friend from down the road, and
Your loyal cheerleader – someone you know always has your back and lifts you
The trickiest part may be steering the conversation toward how you are really feeling. We are hard wired to quickly present a version of ourselves that appears ok, and we are not necessarily taught or encouraged to regularly use the words we need to describe how we are really feeling, especially when we feel bad. We may find it easier to talk about the things we are finding hard and could use some help with, and then describe how this makes us feel, something like ‘when this is happening, I can feel like this…’
3. LOOK LOCAL AND GLOBAL
Local
Locally, just around the corner or down the road, there are groups doing some amazing things in your area. These might not always be obvious, or easy to find, and they may (or may not be) a Mother’s or Father’s group specifically. These might be a community garden, a hiking group, or a yoga class, birdwatchers, men’s sheds, community learning centres, cycling club, crochet social or diverse cultural groups to name a few. Visiting your community hub or local library may point you in an interesting direction. Vital bonds can be built both in expected and unexpected spaces.
Global
It’s incredible to think that we can almost instantly connect with someone on the other side of the world. Online learning tools and ‘self-help’ programs are being developed at a rapid rate in this current global climate. They are accessible, user friendly and some are remarkably well supported at a professional level. Australian programs including those provided by: This Way Up; Smiling Mind; and Beyond Blue. International open university level programs (or MOOC’s) work well for some, you could try: Berkeley - Greater Good Science Centre; Coursera – A Life of Happiness and Fulfillment; and The University of Reading – Understanding Anxiety, Depression and CBT.
4. TRY OUT SOME TIPS
The tips you choose to use may be specific to the perinatal period, like those on the PANDA website or Mum Mood Booster, may be more tuned into certain symptoms you might be experiencing, or the types activities you find beneficial.
Here are just a few with some useable links:
5. SEE A HEALTH PROFESSIONAL
Checking in with your GP may lead to the two of you making a Mental Health Treatment Plan and you can use this to access professional services that best suit you and your goals. Service providers under these plans include: Psychologists; Psychiatrists; Counsellors; Social Workers and Occupational Therapists.
Health Professionals, and the clinics and organisations they work for, often hold useful information sessions to help you make informed choices about what might be the best fit for you and your Family.
As you develop your therapeutic relationship with your treatment team you will develop a toolkit of useable resources and skills you can be putting into practice every day. Empowering tools like biofeedback, mindfulness meditation and other cognitive strategies for wellbeing, may all be a part of your mental health plan. The benefits of becoming really good at using skills like this goes far beyond the perinatal period. These tools for mental health can be used effectively for yours, and your children’s, whole life.
The Perth Brain Centre has been helping new mums and dads with anxiety and depression for over 10 years. All treatment programmes are personalised using brain imaging and delivered by a team of experienced, caring and qualified healthcare practitioners. If you or someone you know are looking for help telephone (08) 65003277 or visit www.perthbraincentre.com.au
About the author - Ms. Emily Goss (Occupational Therapist, Senior Clinician, The Perth Brain Centre).
